The weak one
by CSMichaelis
Summary: Kaoru's the weak twin, the doctor said so when we were born. But they don't see what goes on behind closed doors. Kaoru hides his illness and gets better at it as we get older. Hikaru's p.o.v.


Kaoru's the weak one. That's what the doctor said when we were born.

One of us wasn't going to live, Kaoru was tiny,'under developed 'they said. He had been Hiding behind me according to the doctors who took care of our mother.

He didn't have the strength to make it. Somehow after he was placed in the cradle with me, and my hand touched his, he started to get better.

Our mother likes to tell us that story, on the rare occasion that she's home. She called it a miracle. Maybe it was, I can't be sure. Kaoru came home three weeks later from the hospital.

Mother says everything was good for a while, the only thing that worried her was when he refused to take the bottle, mother called the doctor who told her it happens sometimes, but he would go an entire day without wanting fed.

Mother and father took him to the hospital where they were told that Kaoru had stomach trouble and we would need to be careful with what he did or ate. The smallest things would cause his stomach to hurt.

They were careful, and again they laid him next to me, he felt better. Everything after that was normal, I was with him constantly, I couldn't stand to be separated from my baby brother.

He was sick a lot. He needed me.

When we were five, Our mother left us with our grandmother, Kaoru wasn't feeling well, I could see it in his eyes, but I ignored the feeling of something being wrong because he smiled and told me everything was okay..

"I feel okay Hika." He told me with a smile, his face was paler than usual but I trusted him.

"We should play hide and seek Kao." I suggested.

"Okay, you count." He said. I agree I turned from him and began counting, being five years old, I did my best.

I counted but my mind was wondering to Kaoru, what wasn't he telling me?

"Here I come Kaoru!" I called, I searched carefully, Kaoru is good at hiding. Even now, though we don't play that game anymore he still hides Thankfully he got through the game okay. It was the next one that scared the hell out of me.

Grandmother didn't let us stay together, Kaoru was in the room next to hers while I lay awake down the hall. He needed me, I knew it. I tried to get to him but Grandmother always knew and caught me.I didn't like her.

when the sun came up after a night of worrying and no sleep, I found out that Kaoru was sick again, he'd gotten up during the night and started feeling 'funny" I ran to him. We were supposed to spend the day playing.

"I'm sorry Hika." He said looking up at me from his bed.

"Don't be Kao, it's okay." I tried to reassure him. I decided to stay with him, so I sat next to him. His illness went on for almost a week. Mother came home and Kaoru had to stay in the hospital. It was a painful separation and I couldn't understand why he didn't come home with us. I didn't sleep well during this time.

Our first day of middle school arrived and Kaoru almost didn't go. He felt sick, he wouldn't admit it but I know him.

"I'm fine, you worry too much." He said as we entered the school together.

"We can go home, did you take your medicine?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine." But as the day went on, Kaoru began to slow down. We were sent home early,he lied to me about taking the medicine. He didn't want me to worry. Even after I made him lie down, he was worried about me and how I felt. What amazed me is that no one on the outside knew any of this because Kaoru never showed his illness. He got better at hiding it as we go older. There were days that I had to go without him, I was lost.

To go anywhere without Kaoru,to be alone, all I could think of was I can't wait for this damn day to Kaoru, everyone stared, they asked where my twin was and I would always respond the same way.

"None of your damn business." They didn't even know which one of us was missing. I managed to convince the school nurse I had a stomach ache and was sent home. I ran into our room with tears in my eyes.

"Hikaru, what's wrong?" He asked, I could hear how tired he was.

"Nothing."

"Talk to me." He invited. I sat on the bed, after hesitating, I explained the situation.

"Hika, they're used to us being together, and you know no one can tell us apart." He said.

"It's more than that, you weren't there, I felt so empty Kaoru,alone. With you feeling so sick I just -"

"Hikaru, your my brother and I love you, I know it's hard, I missed you too. Don't let it get to you, I'm already feeling better, I'll be with you at school soon." He smiled faintly taking my hand as I cried.

He came back three days later. We got through most of middle school until the flu started going around., we both got it but Kaoru again had to go to the hospital, it was something about his immune system not being able to get rid of it on it's own. For a while, I couldn't touch him,though I wanted to hold his hand. He wasn't allowed in school for a while,for his own protection they said. I wanted to protect my little brother and I encouraged him to rest and get better.

During the summer the doctors told me he needed an operation. Mother and father were too busy to care. At least that's how it felt.

"Don't cry Hika, I'm going to be fine. I'll get better and you won't have to worry anymore."

"Kao, I just need you to really be okay. You're my baby brother and my best friend."

"I'll do it for you big brother.I promise." He smiled faintly. I felt my heart drop into my stomach when they took him away. He is the voice of reason between the two of us, he always knows what to say, He's not the weak one, I am.

Without my little brother, how can I go through life? He's the one constant in my life and I love him. He's only a kid like me, why is all of this happening?.

He made it through his surgery and I made sure I was beside him when he woke up.

"I told you I'd be okay." He told be and I stroke his hair gently.

"Yeah, you did. How are you feeling?"

"Okay, tired but I'm going to be better soon."

"I hope so Kaoru. I need you." He recovered slowly and managed to stay healthy for most of our time in middle school. I hoped that he would be fine now. We joined the host club and everything was great, because of Tamaki's invitation to join, we were able to let others into our world. Haruhi surprised us when she figured out which one of us was which. Kaoru likes being a host,our brotherly love act is really popular with the guests. He was doing so much better until last week.

I made him stay home because he had a fever and it wasn't going down.

"I know it's an important event Boss, Kaoru's sick, I'm not going to make him go anywhere and he needs me" Tamaki doesn't get angry like I thought he would. Instead he says he hopes Kaoru feels better soon and asks if he can help in some way.

"No, not unless you know how to make this stop." I replied. He tells me he would if he could. After we hang up, I turn back to Kaoru.

He's lying quietly, I put my hand on his chest to make sure he's still breathing, sometimes it's hard to tell.

While he rests, I start looking up information on our situation. I hate myself for what I find. A twin will sometimes fight for space and sometimes the so called weak one dies so the other more dominant twin lives. When the weak one does survive, they can have severe health problems and may die as a result.

Tears fill my eyes, is that what I did to my brother?

is this because of me,was I so damn selfish that I almost killed him?

Am I the reason Kaoru's been suffering? I curse myself and wish I had been the one to be born with so much wrong and I could have let Kaoru live a normal life. But i could never hurt my baby brother, I love him, he gets better when I'm close, none of this makes sense to me.

"What's wrong Hikaru?" Kaoru asks weakly, I turn to him and explain the situation. He smiles and takes my hand.

"That can't be what happened Hika, you love me too much to ever hurt me. Mother and I talked about before we were born, she asked me not to say anything until the time was right. She knew it wouldn't be easy for you to hear. During a few of the ultrasounds, the doctor noticed us both struggling, you were worse than I was, they watched us for a while and when it looked like you weren't going to make it, something about your position and not being able to have what you needed, I moved and you were able to get stronger. We didn't fight and you never hurt me. I did it because I wanted you to be okay. I love you Hika."

I was stunned by this news.

"You know what's really amazing Hika, I wasn't supposed to live past three days when we were born. You got me to high school. You loved me that much, thank you Hikaru." I leaned down and hugged him gently.

"Kaoru, I'm - You're the best brother in the world." Kaoru fell asleep that night and I couldn't wake him for his medicine. I panicked and took him to the hospital, the entire way there, I held his hand,pleaded with him to wake up.

"Baby brother, please don't do this. I love you Kaoru. Please just open your eyes." I cried. I carefully rest my head on his tears are falling uncontrollably. I've called the boss and he said he'd come sit with us. The doctor says it's not long now, he's too weak to last into the night. Kaoru isn't weak! He's the strongest person I know. I want to yell at the doctor for saying that but I know what Kaoru will tell me when he wakes up.

"Yelling isn't going to help anything Hika, I know it's hard but remember that I love you." His voice plays in my mind.

"Kaoru, surprise me, prove them wrong. You're stronger than this. You're my brother,we're twins, me without you just isn't right. I'll take care of you I swear I will." I sob.

"Hikaru." I hear Tamaki call softly but I can't take my attention from Kaoru, he needs me. Somehow this is going to work. He's going to wake up and tell me it's okay. He has to, I'm not letting him go.

"now would be a good time to say goodbye." The doctor tells me.

"The hell I will, he's not going anywhere!' I hiss angrily. Haruhi walks over to me and puts her head on my back as I'm leaning over.

"Hikaru, I know it hurts, we all love Kaoru and I can't imagine how you feel right now,I just want you to know I'm here." She says. I allow her to see Kaoru,he loves her,it's only fair. She holds his hand and tells him she's going to miss our games,and she shocks everyone when she kisses his forehead and strokes his hair. Everyone says goodbye,but not me. I know he's going to get better,he has to.

"Damn it Kaoru, just wake up, you're scaring me. Enough is enough." I whisper. I hear his monitor beeping and then the doctor announces that his heart stopped. They turned off the machines and my Kaoru lay silently on the bed.

"Kaoru!" I scream, I can't lose my brother. He's my heart. What would I be without him? Who is Hikaru without Kaoru?

Still, part of me knows any second, he's going to wake up. My head is still on his cheat but I don't hear his heartbeat anymore. I can hear everyone crying behind me, even Kyoya-senpai is crying, he's turned away from us but I know he is. The doctor leaves to give us some time with Kaoru.

"Kao, I'm sorry I couldn't take care of you, I'm sorry you were sick because of me. You've suffered because I - I love you Kao. You know that. How do I do this without you?" There was a moment of silence well, aside from the quiet sobs.

"Kaoru, please don't go, I need you, I'm not strong enough for this." Maybe it's wishful thinking but I swear I heard something. I listen closely and call to him. I can feel the other hosts staring at me, they know he's gone, the doctor said he's not here, but I know Kaoru, he won't let me down, he never has.

"Come on Kaoru, come back, you're scaring me. I need you here, you can't go." I say. He isn't cold the doctor said that happens but he's not.

I gasp, I'm sure now,I can feel his chest rising and falling. I don't know what was going on but Kaoru is breathing, it's shallow but he is.

"Kaoru do you hear me?'

"Hikaru, he can't -" Tamaki begins before I yell at him to shut the hell up.

I stroke his hair.

"Kaoru, I'm here. Open your eyes, I need you. Your big brother needs you." After several minutes of this, I hear it. The sound is soft and barely audible.

"H-Hika?' I look up to see Kaoru's eyes open. I knew he couldn't let me down. Haruhi runs to get the doctor who rushes in with his nurses. They examine him and turn to me.

"Hikaru, were sorry about this. We were so sure that -"

"Will he be okay?" I have no interest in his apology, Kaoru is the only thing that matters.

"Right now it isn't easy to say. He'll need some tests and to be watched closely." The doctor says it's a rare occurrence but sometimes it happens though no one can explain it, he called it a miracle. Kaoru moans softly as they press his belly and check him out once more. They run to get the tests ordered and our friends wipe away their tears.

"Hika, I feel so weak." He whispers not having the strength to speak normally.

"It's alright Kao, you're going to be fine." I hold his hand just like I always did when he was sick

"I'm right here Kaoru, it's going to be just fine." Kaoru isn't the weak one, he's stronger than he gets credit for The doctors were wrong, He still has his days, but he's here and he's been doing better. He's never let me down and I can tell you that he never will


End file.
